If you got this far, you follow directions well and have at a least a little interest in what’s going on around here.
So what is going on around here?
This is a place for people who are determined to get what they want out of life. What I teach is how to be human on purpose. This is what gets you want you really want.
Why listen to me? Because I’ve taken the time notice and it’s brought me from death to life. I provide clarity, confidence and courage, which allows you to be who you really are no matter the circumstance.
You will find “woo woo” stuff, along with practical application things as well. Because if you can’t bring it down to reality in your life, like actually practicing the things we discuss, then it does you no good.
Head knowledge is useless without action.
A great definition of learning I heard is “same circumstance, different behavior.”
If your behavior doesn’t change, then it doesn’t fucking matter. You haven’t learned anything.
Our goal around here is to really learn.
Small daily adaptations create exponential difference over time.
If you farm time well, it will create what you want more often than not.
A Nic Peterson definition I like is of intelligence. “Intelligence is the ability to get what you want.”
Well, I actually want to live an extraordinary life. I don’t want to just talk about it. So, If you’re still around reading this, you’re invited too. Let’s go get what we want!
REFERENCES:
Nic Peterson Article - “TGA Foundations: Open Loops and Learning” - (be careful reading this, it might just change your life. Remember, I warned you.)
So what do you actually want?
This isn’t something you decide in a day. It requires reflection and time. It also is not a one time decision. Flexibility with life is a must. If you aren’t flexible, it will just break you. It’s hard to get what you want when you’re broken.
I am in a group called “The Club”, it’s where I was challenged to answer this question. Paul Sparks, the founder of the club, asks the question in a way that helped me answer it better. “What are you trying to get closer to?”
Something about this way of saying it freed me up. It wasn’t this list of things I wanted anymore. It helped me see it as a way I want to live my daily life. How I want to spend my time while living on this planet.
My answer to the question is this, “I am trying to get closer to going where I want, with who I want, when I want, doing what I want.”
For me this encompasses fully all of the things I will need to do along the way that makes what I want a reality. From work, to spending time together with my family, to playing golf. If I pull off the life I want, I will get to work on what I want with who I want when I want doing what I want. If I pull of the life I want, I will get to spend time with my family when I want, where I want doing what I want. Well, we in that scenario. I’m not trying to be an asshole. Then golf where I want, who I want, when I want.
You get the picture.
So, same question to you this new way, what are you trying to get closer to?
REFERENCES:
Paul Sparks - The Whale Club website
“For love of bustle is not industry. It is only the restlessness of a hunted mind.”
Seneca
What’s making you go in motion?
Or different way of asking, what are your motivators for action?
The answer to this question is important.
In 2014 I got into real estate as a licensed agent in Florida. I quickly understood the opportunity I had. One to create tremendous wealth. Something I had not had access to in this way before. With a wife, 2 kids, and a dog at home, I went at it.
I worked non stop. I did enjoy what I was doing, that’s what let me justify the way I was getting myself to do it for so long. There was this inner feeling of compulsion. It didn’t let me sit still. I was constantly on the go. For years I didn’t take a vacation because I didn’t want to lose out on any money.
Any downtime I did have, my mind was driving me crazy. The relentless, brutal conversation is what was really pushing me along. If I wasn’t in motion, my mind was destroying me from the inside out.
Then in 2016, I hired my first performance coach. The success of my real estate business had allowed me to pursue a dream I had since childhood, becoming a professional athlete. So at the time I hired my coach, I was running my real estate business, while also practicing golf in any spare moment.
Guess what that didn’t help with? Homelife. I was home even less now than I was before, all the while saying I was doing it for my family.
Kind of weird way to show it.
My coaches name was Jimmy. We spoke every 2 weeks on Wednesday mornings. He started teaching me how to use my mind better. The reality that I had control over it. It did not need to dominate me.
Little did I know the road this was going to take me down.
We methodically began working on small mindset changes over time. The changes revealed to me the mess I was inside. And how that mess was creating a mess on the outside, with everything.
My life was in the current state it was because of the way I went about doing all the things I did.
I learned, you can’t beat yourself up into success.
I promise you. It won’t work. What I was creating, I used a poor tool to get there. Its relentless nature required me to maintain destructive beliefs in order to keep production up.
Please refer back to the quote at the beginning of this article. It’s truth is massive here.
In 2019, the bottom fell out. Even after years of personal development work, I still wasn’t able to keep things going due to how many negative beliefs and habits I still maintained. Divorce happened. Something I experienced as a kid and was hoping not to as an adult.
From this place where I was completely cracked open. Able to see the deep tilled soil of my life, parts of me I couldn’t see without this experience, I decided to make some changes.
I looked inside myself for every part of the divorce that was my fault. I knew that if I desired a good marital relationship in the future, without doing this work it wouldn’t be possible.
I read the books “I used to be a miserable fuck” by John Kim (highly recommend if you are walking through a divorce) and “Unfuck Yourself” by Gary John Bishop. (highly recommend any time)
I found that most of me was duct taped together, disaster lurking at any minute.
The things that were driving me had been apart of who I was for a long time. I had been beating myself into action since I was a teenager.
I started doing the work everyday to change this. It took some time too. Years. The longer you’ve done something, the longer it takes to undo it. And it’s not that the opportunity to do it doesn’t exist. Something I have learned along the way is the option is always available. The choice not to will be intentional.
Since then, I keep an active eye on the motivator that is driving me to take action.
This change has brought me massive success. More than I thought possible when I was using the old motivator. It’s created peace and happiness. I now have an incredible wife, with a relationship I cherish. I’m around for my kids now. I even love my dog more. I have couple businesses, one still in real estate, the other a personal development speaking tour.
I do more now than I ever did with much less action and time because of my intentionality with my actions over time.
It’s the reason I am writing about it this early on the page. It’s one of the first steps in being human on purpose.
If you feel like you could be in the same boat I was. Where what’s driving you isn’t actually helping, the next step to take is a hard stop. The reality is you are doing this to yourself using some belief you aren’t willing to question yet.
Take some time to identify the belief/s.
Before you can make changes, you want to know what to change. This practice isn’t done by throwing mud at the wall to see what sticks.
It’s for people who are serious about getting what they want out of this life.
Which kind of person are you?
References:
“The Tao of Seneca, Practical Letters from a Stoic Philosopher” Volume One
“I used to be a miserable fuck” - John Kim
“Unfuck Yourself” - Gary John Bishop
Self Honesty is the Floor of Personal Development
You can only go as far in life as you are willing to be honest with yourself.
Anywhere you aren’t being honest, you aren’t growing. You’re trapped.
Self honesty allows you to read the terrain of your life. Which allows you to make decisions based on the next best couple steps to get what you want.
If the story you’re telling yourself isn’t true, then you will never be able to make a choice that could be helpful because you’re not open to the option. You’re probably telling yourself it’s not in your best interests.
That’s what I was doing.
When I finally had the courage to be honest with myself I saw clearly the choices I made were in direct opposition to what I really wanted.
Self honesty allowed me to read the terrain, then make effective choices to move me down my desired path in life.
Since my first days of real self honesty in 2016, the lesson still applies now as much as it did then.
Each day I have an opportunity to believe the truth or the lie.
Funny thing about growth is it never stops. Each day you live will always be an opportunity to be honest with yourself.
The longer you practice self honesty the cooler things you get to be self honest about.
Things like building the business of your dreams, going on vacations of a lifetime with your family, actually being present for those vacations.
Ultimately creating a life you enjoy living. The truth really does set you free.
As you go about self honesty daily, what it reveals to you is a floor in your life to raise. These floors are revealed by lack of intentionality.
Whatever triggers you is a floor to raise. I call it monkey brain. It’s where you aren’t the one in control anymore, your animal side has taken over.
Reponses are helpful, reactions can be destructive.
Main reason is when providing a response you account for more than just the local information.
When reacting you’re basing your action on information from only right now.
That’s never helpful. I promise.
Self honesty creates a gap between cause and response. Self honesty’s first move is to ask the question “What’s actually happening?”
Is the guy really being an asshole and I need to tailgate him the next 5 miles for cutting me off or does it have nothing to do with me?
999 times out of 1000 it has nothing to do with you.
There is no reason to give away your peace for a story that isn’t true. That’s a reaction not a response.
Where else could that apply in your life?
In mine it applied as a man, husband, father, friend, son, coach, speaker, business owner, everywhere.
I found floors all through my life in desperate need of raising.
Doing the work has created a life I enjoy living.
That’s what we're all here trying to do right?
Create lives we enjoy living. Why do we do the opposite of that so much then?
As you go through your day experiencing what life brings, can you take the time to figure out what’s actually happening before choosing your actions?
Is that employee really trying to make your life miserable on purpose?
Do you really not have time to play with your kids?
Are you really going to keep believing the lies over the truth?
Self honesty will always guide you down the right path.
It’s always available.
Will you have the courage to use it in your own life?
The closer you get to your goals, the opposite of what you think might happen.
40 miles out in the ocean me, my dad and friend were making our way back to the boat ramp when the outboard quit working. As the boat came to a stop an unsettling feeling spread over us, we were stranded.
After making the mayday call for help, it felt like the longest minute of my life waiting for a response. We all yelled out loud with excitement when a voice finally came back over the radio.
The Coast Guard heard us, then quickly went into action to get help moving toward our location.
When we knew help was on the way a sense of relief fell over the boat. Now all we needed to do was wait. Each of us found a comfortable spot to take a load off, then waited.
Our rescue boat made it to our location. Then at a speed of about 9 miles an hour, we started making our way home.
Even going slow it felt good to be in motion. Watching the starry sky pass overhead as the deep tone of the motors from our rescuers boat brought comfort to my ears.
Around 11 pm, when the first lights from shore came into view something interesting happened. My stress level started going up.
Longing to see this view for more than 5 hours, more stress isn't the response I thought I would have. However, the closer we got to shore, the higher my stress level became.
By the time we could see the boat ramp, I was about ready to dive in and swim the rest of the way. Thinking "for the love of god get me off this boat!"
When my feet touched the earth again, I could have kissed the ground. It felt incredible. While enjoying the experience, in my thoughts I was fascinated at the reality that the closer we got to our destination the more stress I felt.
If I would have had to guess prior to the experience, I would have picked the opposite. The closer we were getting would relieve the stress. However it wasn't the case.
As time passed I reflected on the experience and logged it away in my memory bank for safekeeping.
About 1 ½ years after the lesson learned that night, a chance to experience it again became reality.
I had made the decision to start my own business. I felt the wind in my sails and the timing was right. As the entrepreneurial spirit pulsed through my body I made the leap.
With what I thought was enough funds to make it through the lean times, day after day I was doing the things necessary to bring the dream to life.
When I expected the lean times to be over, they weren't. A cold sweat broke out as I looked at the stack of overdue bills piling up. Each day feeling heavier than the previous.
I believed with all my heart in what I was doing and stayed the course.
Then the break for a good payday happened. Enough that it would catch up everything, leave a surplus and propel me forward in my work.
The feelings of stress were replaced with elation. After inking the deal, the money would be available in a few weeks.
Filled with pride for staying the course, I prepared myself for the payment to come in.
The reality that money was on the way kept my stress at bay for the first two weeks.
Then a familiar feeling crept over me.
My mind rushed with thoughts of who I needed to pay, how much to save and how much to invest back in my business. My stress grew the more I thought about it.
This was when a memory ran through my mind. I was back on the boat, almost to the ramp. Stress feeling higher than it was when we made the mayday call.
I remembered the closer we got the more it grew. Which is exactly what was happening in this new scenario.
Making the connection I settled in for the remainder of the week. I accepted the closer I was getting to my goal, the more stress I was going to feel.
Feeling determined, I decided the lesson I learned on the boat wasn't going to be wasted.
As the days passed on, that's exactly what happened. And again it was what seemed like the opposite of what should be happening, the stress grew.
What changed this time was my frantic behavior. Knowing what to expect allowed me to weather the final days of the storm, walking away with all I needed and more to keep moving forward.
Now when I feel that familiar surge of stress as I approach any goal - whether it's a business deal, personal milestone, or even another boat trip - I remind myself: this isn't a warning sign, it's a progress marker.
The mounting pressure isn't telling me to turn back; it's telling me I'm almost there.
When have you felt your stress peak right before reaching your goal? Understanding this pattern changed how I handle those final moments - I'd love to hear how you navigate the home stretch of your journey.
What Houses Taught Me About Human Connection
After eleven years helping people buy and sell homes, I've learned that real estate is really about stories.
Each transaction has given me the gift of hearing someone's journey - their hopes, challenges, and dreams.
These conversations, thousands of them, have shown me something beautiful about human connection that I never expected to find in this profession.
When you sit with people during one of life's biggest decisions, you discover that everyone has a story worth hearing.
The young teacher stretching her budget for a first home, the family selling their house to care for aging parents, the couple starting over after losing everything - each story has expanded my understanding of what it means to be human.
What's fascinating is how these conversations naturally move beyond the practicalities of square footage and school districts.
People share their lives, fears, and aspirations.
I've found myself learning about different cultures, traditions, and ways of seeing the world - all while walking through living rooms and kitchens.
This experience has helped me see something important about how we connect - or sometimes fail to connect - with each other.
It reminds me of a story about two explorers walking through a jungle.
After days of cutting through dense vegetation, they encounter two members of an undiscovered tribe.
One tribesman makes what in his culture is a welcoming gesture.
The explorers, not understanding this unfamiliar greeting and startled by its intensity, perceive it as threatening.
In their fear, they react defensively, leading to tragic consequences.
All because two groups of people, equally human, equally well-intentioned, couldn't understand each other's way of saying "hello."
This story has stayed with me because it illustrates something I've observed in my work: how often misunderstanding, rather than ill will, creates distance between people.
When showing homes, everyone speaks the same language of wanting security, comfort, and a place to belong. The differences in how we express these desires seem small compared to how much we share.
I've learned that disagreeing about ideas doesn't mean we have to disagree about each other's humanity.
Sometimes, we're simply speaking different languages of experience.
The parent who wants their children to have a better life than they did expresses this in ways shaped by their own journey - but the core desire is universal.
If I Was Coaching Spider-Man… 🕷️
Spider-Man has always been my favorite superhero—not just because of his powers, but because of his struggles.
He’s constantly trying to balance saving the world with keeping his personal life together.
Sound familiar?
Entrepreneurs face the same battle—juggling relationships, finances, and their mission, often at the cost of their well-being.
Entrepreneurs Are Superheroes Too. 🦸♂️
Many come from high-pressure jobs, financial struggles, or personal setbacks before choosing to build something of their own.
The transition from employee to business owner, much like Peter Parker’s journey, is filled with:
⚡ Uncertainty
⚡ Responsibility
⚡ The constant battle to stay ahead of the next challenge
Every entrepreneur has a superpower—whether it’s visionary leadership, innovation, or the grit to push through obstacles.
But here’s the truth:
🚨 If you neglect balance, that superpower weakens.
Burnout doesn’t just affect you personally—it:
❌ Slows your decision-making
❌ Kills creativity
❌ Makes it harder to build your business
Are You Fighting the Wrong Battles? ⚔️
When entrepreneurs get stuck fighting ‘small battles’—putting out fires, handling operational headaches, or micromanaging—it drains energy from what truly matters.
Over time, this doesn’t just stall business growth…
It steals the joy from your life.
When you can’t:
❌ Take vacations
❌ Spend time with loved ones
❌ Enjoy hobbies that bring you fulfillment...
🚨 You are a superhero on the road to destruction.
No matter how much you care for others, the lack of care for yourself will bring your adventure to an end quickly.
So, If I Were Coaching Spider-Man, Here’s Where I’d Start…
1️⃣ A Support System With Other Heroes 🦸♀️🦸♂️
Being a superhero is already hard enough. Going at it alone makes it even worse.
💡 Isolation breeds chaos.
Who can you rely on to take the pressure off when a big crisis hits?
2️⃣ A Support System for His Civilian Life 🏠
Carrying a great burden alone creates a split identity, leading to stress and distraction.
💬 How can you communicate with those closest to you in a way that lightens the load and helps them understand why you can’t always be there?
3️⃣ Time Away 🏖️
As much as you believe your business can’t function without you…
⚠️ It can. And it should.
If your company can’t run while you take a break, it’s not a business—it’s a trap.
💡 Learning to delegate and trust your team isn’t a luxury—it’s the only way to grow sustainably.
Trusting your team to show up like heroes in their own lives empowers everyone to get better, while also giving you the space you need to keep your batteries charged.
Your Mission: Success Without Sacrifice 🚀
I know you want to make an impact, but that doesn’t mean saying yes to everything or everyone.
The most successful entrepreneurs aren’t the ones who do it all…
They’re the ones who:
✅ Protect their energy
✅ Focus on what moves the needle
✅ Build systems that allow them to thrive in business AND in life
If you burn out too soon, you won’t be remembered as a hero.
You’ll be remembered as someone who couldn’t handle their gifts…
Immortalized with the moniker of:
💔 "Gone too soon."
You Are Not Just Here to Build a Business—You’re Here to Build a Life. 🌍
If you don’t prioritize balance, you risk losing both.
🚀 Take action today:
✅ Who can you lean on for support?
✅ How can you communicate better with those around you?
✅ Where can you create space for yourself?