I Win, You Lose.

The problem with this mindset is that it sets 2 people against each other and eliminates the ability to communicate. It turns the conversation (or lack thereof) into a competition and generally fills it with accusations. Instead of bringing the facts together and having a reasonable discussion filled with questions and the desire to find out what is actually going on, the opposite occurs. 

Making sure you have a goal for the conversation can help with keeping things on track. Make the goal to understand and learn what the other person is feeling and thinking. Try to get past the initial things being said and find out what is underneath the surface. What is really going on and what is trying to be said?

The most important thing to do in this is to own your shit. Own your actions, words, behaviors and whatever else you need to. Do not become a victim. Even if you have the right to be a victim, before you can get to that point of the discussion you must have taken full responsibility for yourself.