Living in My Weakness.

I have wondered why I felt fatigued all the time by the way life felt. Were these strategies really working? Was all the intentional personal development since 2014 worth it? Have I created a life I actually want?

Prior to that time I was only living a life I was “supposed” to live. I behaved, believed and thought in a way that was told to me. All of these norms and things I needed to do to be happy. Looking back on them now, they were brutal ways to live.

I tried to zoom out and perspective. Took a look at what the last 90 days have held. What happened? What life took place that changed things dramatically? Was there anything? For me, yes. A lot of things. The way I feel is normal for the person who is attempting what I am trying to pull off. 

The development phase is tough. It's the hardest anything will ever be when you are starting something new. This is the area where you build your muscle memory and there can’t be any memory unless you do something the first time… and then a second time… and a third… and you get the picture. Each try matters. They are important. Small failures create huge successes. Great failures, even bigger successes. Each time you try, you grease the neural relay to make that kind of decision. Outcomes become at will when you know the skill is in the decision making itself.  

Creation lives in your decision making. What you are deciding each and every moment, you are creating. If this is a weak area for you then these are going to be turbulent waters. Don’t worry though, you can do it. Just keep choosing.